Stop using "gay" as a pejorative

butterjam
butterjam Posts: 221
edited March 2013 in A Moving Train
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • From my cartoon watching days, the Flintstones promised me that I'd have a "gay ole time". Nothing wrong with Fred, Barney and the crew.

    The poison from the poison stream caught up to you ELEVEN years ago and you floated out of here. Sept. 14, 08

  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    From my cartoon watching days, the Flintstones promised me that I'd have a "gay ole time". Nothing wrong with Fred, Barney and the crew.
    WILMA!!
  • BinauralJam
    BinauralJam Posts: 14,158
    i blame Shaun of the Dead, but i do try not to any more
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,766
    If I hear someone say this it strikes me as pretty strange. I don 't think I've used the term in front of anyone for a long long time. But it was a really common use of the word when I was younger for years - it really never occurred to anyone that there was anything wrong with it I don't think - and I guess it stuck in my brain, because every once in a while I find myself using the term when talking to myself the way we all do... and I noticed that I'd said it, and found THAT strange. It came out as a matter of old, old habit I guess... I was just surprised that it was still somewhere in my head. But for the most part, I think using the word gay as a pejorative is almost a thing of the past, at least here in Vancouver. Gay is what a homosexual male is (most don't call lesbians gay for some reason... where do lesbians stand on that??).
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • whgarrett
    whgarrett Posts: 574
    I still use the term. If one on my friends is acting gay, or if they are doing something gay, I tell them. I don't use it hatefully as I would call someone a f#gg*(&t. I haven't done that for a while.

    I don't have any other descriptive term to label them I guess.

    I will try and work on it.
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,766
    whgarrett wrote:
    I still use the term. If one on my friends is acting gay, or if they are doing something gay, I tell them. I don't use it hatefully as I would call someone a f#gg*(&t. I haven't done that for a while.

    I don't have any other descriptive term to label them I guess.

    I will try and work on it.
    I'm seriously asking: what are your friends doing so that they are acting gay or doing something gay??
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • hedonist
    hedonist Posts: 24,524
    PJ_Soul wrote:
    Gay is what a homosexual male is (most don't call lesbians gay for some reason... where do lesbians stand on that??).
    I call gay men and women "gay" alike; the gay women I know use that word and lesbian pretty equally.
  • g under p
    g under p Surfing The far side of THE Sombrero Galaxy Posts: 18,237
    Today I was very GAY, I got a surprise package from my sister with cards, birthday cake and a gift. My b-day is in a couple days so for today I couldn't be more gay. :D

    Peace people
    *We CAN bomb the World to pieces, but we CAN'T bomb it into PEACE*...Michael Franti

    *MUSIC IS the expression of EMOTION.....and that POLITICS IS merely the DECOY of PERCEPTION*
    .....song_Music & Politics....Michael Franti

    *The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite INSANE*....Nikola Tesla(a man who shaped our world of electricity with his futuristic inventions)


  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,675
    This thread reminds me of a fact that I always find odd, amazing, even disturbing: that there are still people who have a problem with people who are gay, lesbian, homosexual, or light in the loafers. I like that last term. If I were gay I would say "I'm light in the loafers" and feel good about it. Hey, I like shoes. What can I say. :)
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,766
    brianlux wrote:
    This thread reminds me of a fact that I always find odd, amazing, even disturbing: that there are still people who have a problem with people who are gay, lesbian, homosexual, or light in the loafers. I like that last term. If I were gay I would say "I'm light in the loafers" and feel good about it. Hey, I like shoes. What can I say. :)
    I actually find it EXTREMELY disturbing that there are still people who have a problem with people who are gay. J have absolutely no wiggle room on this issue. Either someone is completely accepting of people being homosexual, or they are assholes. Not too many issues are so black and white to me, but this one is. I am completely intolerant of people who are intolerant of gay people just because they're gay and/or have sex with the same sex, and I am comfortable with my intolerance in this case. :)
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • Jason P
    Jason P Posts: 19,327
    I learned a new word today: pejorative

    Can I know longer call my friends that cheat at cards a Belichick?
    Be Excellent To Each Other
    Party On, Dudes!
  • Kat
    Kat Posts: 4,973
    It has not been ok here to use the word "gay" as a slam. It is bigoted and homophobic and the people who are doing it need to take a good look at why they think it's ok. Your posting privileges are at risk if you do it here or promote the idea that it's ok...because it isn't. Some posts are going to disappear....and just this time, it's as a big hint.

    Very nice video, OP...she was funny.

    Admin
    Falling down,...not staying down
  • Bentleyspop
    Bentleyspop Craft Beer Brewery, Colorado Posts: 11,530
    I live in Boulder and I go to Ignite every year and her presentation was one of the best.

    I totally 100% agree with her and have been known on occasion to call out people (usually kids in their teens and 20s} about using that word as a pejorative. When an adult (someone in their 30s or older) with kids uses it in the negative I don't hesitate to say something.
  • whgarrett
    whgarrett Posts: 574
    OKAY, I will stop using "gay" as a pejorative. It's going to be really hard though. :D
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,766
    whgarrett wrote:
    OKAY, I will stop using "gay" as a pejorative. It's going to be really hard though. :D
    Just ask yourself: what's wrong about gayness??

    To me, you're technically throwing compliments at people or things by calling them that (it's the intent behind the word that's harmful, not the word or what it means or stands for). So how come to you it's a slam? Assuming you're not a homophobe (and I don't think you are?), if you think of it in those literal terms of gay not being being negative at all, perhaps using the word like that, as a dig, won't even make sense to you anymore.
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,675
    whgarrett wrote:
    OKAY, I will stop using "gay" as a pejorative. It's going to be really hard though. :D

    Agreed with PJ_Soul, above. Also, whg:

    Definition: Pejorative, A pejorative (also term of abuse or derogatory term) is a word or grammatical form that connotes negativity and expresses contempt or distaste.

    If you remember this definition and don't have a bias against gays, then you won't have a problem avoiding negative use of the word "gay".
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • whgarrett
    whgarrett Posts: 574
    The funny thing is that I hear the term used by homosexuals more than anyone I know.

    Those I work with consistently use it, sometimes even at me.

    If I do something like dance around or portray some emotional attachment to a cause or object they are quick to tell me "that's gay" "you are being so gay right now."

    I think everyone has such a small amount of time on this planet that I shouldn't judge them for what lifestyle choices they make.

    It's hard enough just to get by.
  • brianlux
    brianlux Moving through All Kinds of Terrain. Posts: 43,675
    whgarrett wrote:
    The funny thing is that I hear the term used by homosexuals more than anyone I know.

    Those I work with consistently use it, sometimes even at me.

    If I do something like dance around or portray some emotional attachment to a cause or object they are quick to tell me "that's gay" "you are being so gay right now."

    I think everyone has such a small amount of time on this planet that I shouldn't judge them for what lifestyle choices they make.

    It's hard enough just to get by.

    Same reason blacks use the "n" word, etc. It's taking the work back and it's their right. (I don't think I would... but how do I know?) I kind of envy people who can do that- who have some kind of identity to take back. Other than being half Amish (which is European anyway) I'm typical Heinz 57 variety white guy. What is somebody going to call me? Pickle relish? Ketchup?

    As for someone saying you're acting gay, take it as a complement and say, "thanks". It's their loss if the have a problem with it. I'll tell you quite frankly, I've been mistaken for being gay before. My wife even thought I might be gay when she first met me. (We got that straightened out :lol: ) I don't take it as an insult at all. I like it that people recognize that I have certain sensitivities and wasn't born with a linebacker's build. Actually, that could be an asset if I were gay... :lol: ...but you know what I mean.
    "It's a sad and beautiful world"
    -Roberto Benigni

  • CAVSTARR313
    CAVSTARR313 Posts: 8,756
    While lost in a car with my homosexual family member, we came to an intersection and I told him to "go straight"..

    He replied in a tizy "I can't!! but, I can go gayly forward!!!"

    Love it and I always say it now!!!
    None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.
    Abrn Hlls '98 - Clarkston 2 '03 - Grd Rpds '06 - Abrn Hlls '06 - Clvd '10 - PJ20 - Berlin 1+2 '12 - Wrigley '13 - Pitt '13- buff '13- Philly 1+2 '13 - Seattle '13
  • PJ_Soul
    PJ_Soul Vancouver, BC Posts: 50,766
    Caveeze wrote:
    While lost in a car with my homosexual family member, we came to an intersection and I told him to "go straight"..

    He replied in a tizy "I can't!! but, I can go gayly forward!!!"

    Love it and I always say it now!!!
    :lol:
    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~ Desiderata